I haven't been able to sleep for the past month in a half, i most likely have insomnia. Around when this started happening i had just gotten covid for the first time. I had spent most of my time in bed recovering but even after i was over the virus i still suffered the side effects of it. As of writing this i woke up at 1pm yesterday and it is currently 7am and i feel like dog shit. I usually watch tv while i try to fall asleep, i am going to cut this out as it may keep me awake. But, i don't watch tv before bed for any random reason, i do it to keep the painful memories away, which keep me awake anyways.
I have reoccurring flashbacks to painful memories during anytime of the day, they cause me to violently flinch and used to make me pull on my hair or hit myself but i have thankfully stopped doing thank. Often it's not a concious choice and happens before i can react to it, I once almost punched my screen during an interview because of these flashbacks. The flashbacks are at their worst at bedtime since i have nothing to do so i spent a lot of it hoping to drift away into sleep while directing my attention to other things. It hasnt been working and i know that very well but i keep on wishful thinking.
These are the rules i am setting for myself to finally get some good sleep:
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3/17/26